Rolling on a River of Writing

A Blackout in D.C.

2006-11-06T15:57:00.000-05:00

The lights are out in DC
The dark is so lonely
I anguishly sigh and shout
But I am still blacked out
No voice to soothe me
Here in the big city
Here in the big city
Pumping deep within me
The lights are out in DC
The lights are out in DC
Here in me, DC,
The lights are not shining.

Will the rooster start crowin
For the dawn of the mownin
I’m praying for the end
But it begins with a friend
Everything gone and stolen
Here’s my towel to throw in.
Here in the big city
Pumping deep within me
The lights are out in DC
The lights are out in DC
Here in me, DC,
The lights are not shining.

Just the slightest decibel
Would save me from this hell
Just one slight embrace
Would greatly replace
Angst with joy in this cell
Where the lights all fail
Here in the big city
Pumping deep within me
The lights are out in DC
The lights are out in DC
Here in me, DC,
The lights are not shining.

When the lights fail
Will you be my candle?
When the lights fail,
Will you be my candle?
When the lights fail,
Will you be my candle?
Here in the big city
Pumping deep within me
The lights are out in DC
The lights are out in DC,
Here in me, DC,There’s a small candle burning.

Eclipsed By You

2006-10-13T11:25:00.000-04:00

When you look at me
I can see
The stars twinkling
In your night skies
In your night skies
Stars twinkling bright

The sea surrounds us
Welcoming glances
And moonlight dances
We’ll chance this an
Let it change us
Let it change us

As Autumn’s leaves
Fall in the breeze
I am still falling
Twenty years so softly
In love with you
In love with you

So I’m still singing
As u envelope me
Like a weeping
Willow I’m resting
In pure beauty
You my beauty

When you look at me
I still can see
The stars twinkling
In your night skies
In your night skies
Stars twinkling bright

The Box-Cutters

2006-10-04T00:07:00.000-04:00

I am trapped inside
Of this box of glass
With lots of eyes
That don’t sympathize
But rather than caring,
They stand there staring
Judging and laughing
As the shards cut me
Cutting me gen’rously.

I wish I could be
Dungeonlessly free
But if it means
They and I will be
Together as we
Then I’ll keep the chains
With their binding pain
As the shards cut me
Cutting me gen’rously.

Where’s sanctuary
From the canaries
And their calvary
of spears I’m so weary
but it don’t matta-ta-me
cause there’s only one judge
whose voice mountains budge
As the shards cut me
Cutting me gen’rously.

The shards keep cutting
Keep cutting away at me
Blue, black, brown, and green
Cutting me gen’rously
The shards keep cutting.

Flying Ravens

2006-09-17T23:10:00.000-04:00

A man set to die
as many before
a family asks why
the state does its chore.

The crowd gathers now
“Kill the killer!” cries
arise up and drown
petitions for life.

Thoughts from time afar
bombard a mother
gripping tight her heart
their joy destructs her.

Running in diapers
her son, her baby
happy and hyper
charming the ladies.

Off to school a kiss
on her cheek he’d leave
love was not amiss
now just disbelief.

The night clouds rain blood
flooding the TVs
people asking “What?!
No way, not Jimmy!”

All unite and chime
death is his justice
his life’s worth a dime
“Carry out the sentence!”

The twelfth bell echoes
no word from the hill
death sounds like mom’s bellows
a Human is killed.

A day full of bleak
ravens overhead
tears the sod seep Jimmy cold and dead.

hums of the dum

2006-09-13T03:18:00.000-04:00

When hope is gone
E’ryone hums
When hopes away
E’ryone hums

I cant reyese
see deese eyes
walkin tha street
to dis beat
a preecher preech
but outta reach
ill bang dis drum
dis my drum.

When hope is gone
E’ryone hums
When hopes away
E’ryone hums

Deeler’s deelin
Cripz killin
Tear trenched cheeks
Scars far deep
Frontin enamys
Ernin emmys
Ill play dis part
Dis my part

When hope is gone
E’ryone hums
When hopes away
E’ryone hums

No one kares
Unjust fares
Forsake the kid
And take bids
Betting when
I am pinned
Ill take dis blame
Dis my blame

Hope flees
Far from me
E’ryone hums
But e’ryones dum
E’ryones dum
With no tungues
E’ryones dum

The Choir Sings To The Deaf

2006-08-22T15:50:00.000-04:00

Dirt on ma feet
with nothing to eat
walking along
singing ma song
waiting for you
wandering through
thinking of you
where are you?

Sweat flows from beads
on down the street
still goin strong
singin this song
waiting for you
there's no en lieu
no other will do
where are you?

Crawling on ma knees
feeling thirst's defeat
it's almost too long
mumbl'in this song
waiting for you
holes in ma shoes
you'll be here soon.
Wait! Is that you?

The vultures see
black surrounding
then that gone gong
mutes ma song
waiting for you
hope still imbues
from me for you
all I can do.

Still arguing
your theology
building your congs
"I'm right," your song;
I'm dead while you
study God's truth.
I told him bout you
and He asked, "Who?"

Music's Nightmare

2006-08-14T23:20:00.000-04:00

Everything so loud
clattered sound.
Everyone can't sing
the melody,
who will be
the harmony?

So you dance
to your cadence
and to the eye
all looks alright.
What a lie;
you're out of time.

A rhthym
that's missin',
up and down
moving all around
swamping sound
surrounds
and drowns

me.
Everyone sings
melody
yet christianity
needs
harmony.

Jesus' song
is not gone;
melody of love
confronts me un-enough.
Love accentuate
and from sin refrain.

Sin of vain;
selfless gains.
Harmony
our calling:
Community
loving
you before me
you before me
you before me.

When The Blindfold Remains

2006-08-11T00:02:00.000-04:00

The clouds were rolling West
tree-tops gently swaying
beads of rain on the window
as freckles on a girl's nose;
my life, each thought was weighing
alone standing on the crest

Back to reality
questions as one murmur
anticipation's peak
each man waiting for my speech.
Is it true or just rumor,
an end to this catastrophe?

"Sir, have you found the cure?
Is this cancer's final blow?"
When these words were uttered
my stomach's butterflies fluttered.
"Yes, it seems that is so,"
I replied, "seems for sure."

A thunderstorm of bulbs
erupting thunder brings
torrential questions flooding
over me, over me.
This choir of vict'ry sings;
my name each one extols.

The clouds covered the sun.
Alone I peered through the window.
I love the rain in L.A.
pounding the ground away.
But none of this was so;
I was used in Prop. seven-one.

Outro:

Cancer amuck
AIDS you're stuck
poverty persists
yet you insist
I'm not life.
"Look at my wife
racked with Alzheimer's!
Give it to science!"
But one question:
What is a knife
without the surgeon's life?

An Eagle's Eyeview

2006-07-28T21:57:00.000-04:00

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is an essay that I have written as an application essay for another college. I would love your insights and thoughts.] enjOy:

Somberly sauntering down a dusty road I could not help but reflect on a decision I made three years ago. The leaves were smoothly sailing through the sky, and like pilgrims, the leaves were looking for land to call home. Glancing to the right, there were three kids chasing each other in a circle. As if my glance was a cue, one of the kids, a ruddy boy around seven, tumbled to his stomach. The domino effect that followed led to the kids rolling on the ground incessantly giggling; I slightly smiled and gently nodded. Lifting my eyes from the laughing leprechauns, I began to resume my reflective walk along the path, but my eyes caught a glimpse of a tragic majesty that halted my every movement, even my heartbeat.

I began to hypnotically hike, after collecting myself from my initial paralysis, towards my eyes’ fixation. I assume that I must have walked by the kids, but I do not have the faintest recollection of having done so. As I approached, his head shot around to assess the new situation I had created. His body, brown as the terrain below, followed his head until the two of us were face to face. His beady, black eyes peered into my eyes, and then he cocked his head to the left in a most curious fashion. When I stepped to get a closer peak at him, he spread his wings and slightly lifted from his perch, but the cage constricted most of his potential. I stopped my foot in mid-air and returned it to the earth, and we continued to gaze into one another’s eyes.

Holding our stare, he moved, in a two-step fashion, to his right. Then, as abruptly as our relationship began, his concentration went to the sky. The squalid prison keeping my acquaintance from the heavens was secured by a mere key lock. Investigating my acquaintance’s oval obstacle further, I noticed that the key was still in the lock. As this detail was revealed, a blur of brown moved in my direction. I looked over, and our eyes met again. Then, as a friend with a head nod urges you to come along, he invited me with his eyes to look with him at the sky. Up above, in the legendary V-formation, ducks began their journey from the approaching winter. Simultaneously, our eyes met for an epiphanic third time.

Swimming through the black hole of his eyes, I realized that I was staring into my own brown eyes. The dross of a decision-where to go for the most scholarly and beneficial education-envelops my intellectual ability. I intrinsically challenge myself but the school’s reciprocation is mere mediocrity. Where is the academic fire to melt my dross away? I will not be satisfied with average.

As I watched him sublimely soar towards the north, I wondered deeply within myself as to whether or not someone would unlock my cage. Either way, I will be free; I will majestically fly like him.

The Creek of Love, From Where Dost Flow?

2006-07-17T15:24:00.000-04:00

Would I cry
tonight
with you by my side?
All these lies
in light
show me that I've died
show me that I've died.

There's a space
today
gazing at your face;
I'm afraid
to say
love was now too late
love was now too late.

I recall
last fall
walking down that hall:
above a call
our wall,
touched God, twas so tall
touched God, twas so tall.

Us alone
your home
death now bought was sold;
body cold
my soul,
tears froze, just as cold
tears froze, just as cold

Flowers wilt
hate spillt
to kill, the poison filled.
Wall I built;
where's guilt?
Killed in the weed's field,
killed in the weed's field.

Hypocrite
I sit;
I just can't forgive.
The verdict
He gives:
you never have lived,
you never have lived.

When I've met
sun's death
all became Son's debt.
Forgiveness,
no less,
beckons me forget
beckons me forget.

To claim
his name
yet retain
a hate
a hate
only shows
you don't
you don't
truly know
from where love flows
from where love flows.

Humanity's Vanity

2006-07-13T19:01:00.000-04:00

"Can I have your number?" rang in her ears. Craved, like a drug you can’t shrug, she was sought everyday. Reaffirmed by mirrors; yearned, even beauty had to learn her ways. Doors closed and all the no’s, to many caused expensive dreams to drop to pitied pennies. But her, with the right shirt, and certain parts shown, opened possibilities unknown.

Vultures, they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

Laughs so loud, how could he be proud? His face, pimples took the skin’s place. Here comes a crowd, oh, just to be in a shroud! "I don’t want to be chased, please?!" He prays. HA HA HA from down the hall, pushed to the wall left to crawl. Walking away, they called back, "Ugly duckling, you’re a fag!"

Vultures, they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

"I’ll take that, the Ferrari to go with the Harley," he told Marty. "Here’s the cash;" only a pinch to the stash. In Djibouti, enjoying the surfari, choosing not to see the poverty, he buys millions worth in property. Everything a price tag, he wants it; he just grabs. The selfish sparkle in his eye only looks for his next big buy. With enough cash for four generations, his vast empire will last.

Vultures, they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

On this boulevard, life so hard sittin against a store, wonderin’ what he was he for. God is a lie, if alive, then why?! Shivering in this snow glistening but no one is listening. "Hey Bum, quit loitering!" the cop screamed coming down the street. So up to his feet again, left to wanderin’ to find somewhere to turn in. Another day, another night, hope resigned and out of sight. "Bum, it’s your fault," they scald, "go get a job."

Vultures, they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

"A cheetah couldn’t beat ya," her coach would say. Scouts from all about packed the track. The newspapers would invade her, her privacy not catered . Always training to stay at her peak, she was the epitome of healthy that many sought to be. Records broken, trophies that were only golden, she only knew success in excess. No doctor’s visits since she was six. No handicaps, her body always did what it was asked.

Vultures they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

Beep. Beep. sounded the machine as she laid under the sheets. Weakening over the years, with many shed tears, her fears moving ever so near. A chance to walk, that was a prize she sought. Cancer all over, she was disease’s four-leaf clover, as rare to all became common call from doctors that watched her. Just a chance to be a kid; to run, spit, and kick without a care in the world, she would dream while on that bed curled.

Vultures they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

Jesus was the only thing that pleased’him. His whole life he strived to be Christ’s set apart wife. He didn’t follow religion’s hollow standards, but passion’s intensity is where he wanted to be. Intimacy that was shivering; that was how he knew he was living! Embraced by grace, he felt the whisper of his Love from above on his face all his days. Closing his eyes, he breathes deep while seeing eternity; his being is raptured into a bliss he hopes never to miss; captured by Christ’s kiss.

Angels, they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above the saved
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

When I Hear You Stink, What Do I Think?

2006-07-06T00:57:00.000-04:00

Would you like to drink?
Glass shards don't go far
still thirsty, throat bleeding
I'm not the cup.

Sitting in the dark
setting the lamp up
still in the dark
wondering what?
I'm not a lamp.

Calvinist. Arminian.
Israeli. Palestinian.
Buddhist. Muslim.
Righteous.Condemned.

So sing a hymn
and hum your tune
lifting your hands
while there's troops
bullet in my brain
blood stained-glass window
keep singin' your hymn
singin' you're him.

I'm a soul.
I'M A SOUL.
And all I want
is to be loved

Jesus did not sale
Heaven in a pitch
but offered a lifetime sail
immersed in Him.

"If you abide in me,
then you will walk
as I walked."
In Love pure
pure in love.

Sleep, Storm, Savior

2006-06-29T02:07:00.000-04:00

One of the curses of writing is that when writing compels you, you have no choice but to surrender to its armies, waving your measly flag in the air. Measly is an adjective that keeps running through my mind as I mediate and muse through ideas my soul yearns to use. So, here I sit to write, two o'clock in the morning, knowing that my rooster starts crowing in an hour, but my mind will not allow sleep to capture my eyes until my heart can attempt to pour out, through these short, stubby translators, the passion it is enveloped in.

I was reading Brian McClaren's A NEW KIND OF CHRISTIAN, and as I began this journey into the McClaren's mind, I began to ponder methodology, meaning, modernism, and the Bible. Is there a better form of communication in the midst of this epoch transition? Nonetheless, I am not really interested in giving intel from which my intelligence was driving me to.

I looked over at the clock, and saw that it was twelve o'clock. I routinely put my things away into the places that were screaming to be filled with their particular puzzle piece. As I searched solitaire's silence aided by night's thick blanket, I nuzzled under the blanket I was tucked under with a smile of security that overflowed from a heart weakily reaching for the hand who knitted its mass together.

My heart reminded me of how often I put my beautful lover Lord into a box. It is like Christmas. On Christmas Eve, my sister and I would get up in the wee hours of the morning, which in and of itself was like Columbus discovering America because I thought everyone always sleeps from nine until seven, and we would scavenger through our stockings while our eyes would captivate on all of the different shapes, sizes, and hues of the boxes, trying to guess what is inside based on the data of the boxes. We were a lot like birds mesmerized by aluminum foil. In the same way, I focus all of my attention on the boxes that I have made to put my Lord in, while guessing who is this Lord in the box.

As my eyes watered and my smile grew as the grinch's does when his heart gets four times bigger in Dr. Seuss's classic, it began to slightly storm outside. Twenty minutes later, after I must have faded to the land of sleep to the sweet low, melodious rumblings of the afar thunder, the window by my head kept a steady rattle as the night's darkness in my room looked as though a million fireflies were trapped. Sweetly, softly in my heart the Lord whispered through this magnificent, mighty shout of a storm, "I AM. I AM INCOMPREHENSIBLE. I AM UNFATHOMABLE. I AM BIGGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE. Yet, I am whispering to your heart and craddling you in my arms."

I looked outside in the torrent with the water rising to our door, and I wondered if my heart had bursted from Love? He made a covenant with Noah to never flood the earth in such a way, and if my heart's overflow was a flood, then Noah would still be on the ark playing with the animals.

As I sit and look out the door with the glare of the computer on my nose, and my battery void of the blue that once filled it in the taskbar, there is a somberness outside. Inside, there is tranquility. As a light, my lover Lord pervades my whole being, exploding me to smithereens, baptizing me and entwining me into Him. Yes, tranquility at its simplicity. He kisses me on the forehead, as I drift asleep. Please don't wake me. Good night.

When All That is Left is White

2006-06-19T12:35:00.000-04:00

Skinny dipping in your eyes
this is the naked me;
uncovered by your light
me swimming in your sea
unashamed I am
skinny dipping
skinny dipping in your eyes.

Bondaged and imprisoned
waving, flailing my arms
Rescue me, will this end?
Someone, hear my alarm!
Yet I am still encaged
peering through these two peep holes
peering through these
two peep holes

I dive in to you
I hit ocean's bottom
all your water moved
cause you sought them,
and I was too ashamed;
you can't love me
it's an impossibility
you won't love me.

Your eyes cut my heart
our minds melting one
life I'm scared to start.
Your love a warm sun
hugs me tight
even though I mightily fight
you still hug me tight.

Skinny dipping in your eyes
this is the naked me;
uncovered by your light
me swimming in your sea
unashamed I am
skinny dipping
skinny dipping in your eyes.

I remove my clothes,
and jump into you.
I've never been this close
One soul through two fused
acceptance and challenge
freed from death's living bondage
freed from being death's hostage.

A virgin to life
clothes covering my shame,
emerging in this moonlight
while your waves crash my name.
And,
now so completely free,
baptized in your great sea,
I am completely free!

I cannot see this ocean's floor,
but I will drown in swimming.
I am for you to explore,
so I will die skinning dipping.
In love so pure,
my death for Life secure;
I will die in this skinning dipping.

Skinny dipping in your eyes
this is the naked me;
uncovered by your light
me swimming in your sea
unashamed I am
skinny dipping
skinny dipping in your eyes.

I'm Drowning.

2006-06-11T10:55:00.000-04:00

I just want to see
what is the meaning
what does love look like
blinded by my mind's night?

Where did love go?
Does anyone know?
Why can I feel it,
yet still be unlit?

Can words expose
where this warmth glows
when philosophers sit
at artist's exhibits?

Yet the beautiful notes
leave just empty holes
unable to be stitched
empty is all that is.

Wrestle it as foe
innocent as a doe;
my temper gives fit,
yet love still remains hid.

I just want to see
what is the meaning
what does love look like
blinded by my mind's night?

Love is beyond the confines
of what can be defined.
Love is not a choice
of who gets my voice.
Its meaning will be
muddled in thinking
because it is clearly
and most simply:
Breathing.
Love is breathing.
Love is breathing.

I can keep reading,
and can keep thinking,
and can keep writing,
but love is not locked
in this, my small box.

I know love's crisp inhale,
but I die holding it in.
I must not fail to exhale
because love is breathing.
Love is breathing.

Love is breathing (fading).

When Nightmares and Fantasies Melt

2006-05-21T17:54:00.000-04:00

Resting in your lap
while trapped in your eyes
I wonder, wonder if
the sun has kissed
the ocean yet
behind your head.

Your finger 'cross my brow
your nose crinkles as
you smile so sly I
spread my wings and fly
when words leave me
and all else is fleeting.

But, I keep dreaming
in your eyes above me
So, please don't wake me
I'm sleeping in
just let me sleep in
you.

The sun shines bright
so high in the sky,
and the moon reflects,
in a glow, its light.
But the sun's your moon
unable to capture
all your radiance.

So, yes, I'm hestitant;
we must be destined,
but how do you come close
close to pure beauty
so captivating
without getting burned
without getting burned?

But, I keep dreaming
in your eyes above me
So, please don't wake me
I'm sleeping in
just let me sleep in
you.

The wind blows away
your hair from your neck
along with the hands of time
melting day to night,
yet the wind from your mouth
moves my heart all about
melting and consuming
my passions to you.

Wrap me in you
my beautiful cacoon
Cause without you
all I can see is
ugly, but thankfully
you transform me.
And,
I'm still trapped in your eyes
trapped in your eyes.

But, I keep dreaming
in your eyes above me
So, please don't wake me
I'm sleeping in
just let me sleep in
you.

Ley, I'll Love You.

2006-05-15T00:33:00.000-04:00

When your world stops
from its blur
and the weight of time
begins to crush you
I'll look in your eyes
when words won't suffice
and I'll love you
I'll love you.

A tragic announcement
brings perspective
to those small things
your world depends
I'll hold your hand
to help you stand
and I'll love you
I'll love you.

Alone you're falling
falling apart
through this black hole
you feel alone
My arms will hold you
safety to surround you
and I'll love you
I'll love you.

When your tears and
your pillow meet
in secret each night
because of the pain
I'll kiss your eyes
so weary of crying
and I'll love you
I'll love you.

When your mind
tired of thinking
needs to release
but there's no translation
I'll be your ears
your heart's garble hear
and I'll love you
I'll love you.

I'll love you
I'll love you
I'll be
your sanctuary
I'll hold you
through the night
'til the morning dew
but most importantly
I'll love you
I'll love you.

I love you.

When Rain Makes Dirty

2006-05-11T19:30:00.000-04:00

Author's Note:

This lyric is explicit, so be forewarned. If this will cause you to stumble, then do not read, brothers and sisters. This is the first lyric of a composition of lyrics that I will be writing concerning this dynamic protagonist. I love you all. lOve

When Rain Makes Dirty

Love
it's not real
Love
just surreal
incapable
of being healed
Love
that's enough.

My daddy loves me,
he whispers
in my ear.
"Oh, and don't tell mommy
cause Daddy'll get mad,
and we don't want that;
isn't that right?
Now keep quiet,
and close your eyes;
just close your eyes."

"Owww daddy, it hurts!
Stop it, please.
STOP IT, EEEEEEEEEEE!"
"SHUT UP!" Killed all my squirms.
Tears flooded my cheeks-
just my unseen screams
drowning in pain
with rafts of shame
calling out to save
calling out to save.

Love
it's not real
Love
just surreal
incapable
of being healed
Love
that's enough.

I'm no Jericho
these my walls
will not fall,
so don't stop; just go.
I'm not worth your care;
here's truth at its bare:
Love does not exist;
if so, where was it
when I was a kid
when I was a kid?!

You cannot imagine
living death
on a bed.
I WON'T LET YOU IN.
I'm burning alive
and yearning to die
but death's hiding
deaf to my crying
while
daddy's smiling
daddy's smiling.

Love
does not exist
cause if it did,
it's a piece of shit
to leave a kid
a life to forget
So get away.
So GET away.
SO GET AWAY!

The Welcome Mat My Eyes Only Saw.

2006-05-05T20:11:00.000-04:00

From afar came a call
"Come along. Come along."
Piercing eyes of pierced hands
when goodbyes cannot stand
will you come to this land
distant land, distant land.

Love supreme; man in need
blood to drink; hand to eat.
Where's that face from that place
of boundless grace for debased,
wicked men full of sin
meeting Him, forgiven?

The snow falls, on my yard
like my heart, a blanket black
no disguise cannot can
mask the lies in my land,
when tears rise out of eyes
and pain's screams are my dreams.

Over there, hear, not like here
from the peers, joy not fear
on their lips whispers kiss
what I wish yet always miss!
Do you see where to be
in that sea, pure beauty?!

From afar came a call
"Come along. Come along."
Piercing eyes of pierced hands
when goodbyes cannot stand
will you come to this land
distant land, distant land.

Happy Valentines?

2006-04-28T21:47:00.000-04:00

Author's Note:

If your conscience convicts you of curse words, then please do not read below. To capture a certain emotion I used these words that have no inherent moral faculty except that which soceity has deemed on them. But, please, if your conscience would condemn you, then do not read.

Happy Valentines?

One more hit
I need ma fix
one more hit
I need ma fix
just one more hit
I wanna be lit

the pull and tug
deep within me
I cannot shrug
its grip on me.

Happy Valentines
the echo just
closes its blinds
under love's dust.

Peering in black
One to wonder
life's Past come back
but Now thunders.

Friends just rinse off
dirt down the drain
Out of their thought
I'm crushed under this pain
I'm crushed under this pain.

One more hit
I need ma fix
One more hit
I need ma fix
Just one more hit
I wanna be lit.

Just touching clouds
tasting colors
but alone, no pals
Where's my mother?

The river's end
White all around
I can't defend
myself from my frown

Damn all of this
tonight, fuck life
mirage of bliss
I'm going past the sky
I'm going past the sky

This civil war
in my broken mind
windows with boards
ends tonight I'll find.

It all ends tonight
It all ends tonight
in that sky
so high
it ends tonight
it all ends tonight.

Cold Rain

2006-04-18T13:39:00.000-04:00

The clouds are forming
people wandering
on the streets
aimlessly.
Inside it's lightn'ing
your voice thundering.

One, two, ten, twenty
soon the sky a sea,
on the ground
sky's fists pound.
Inside, just shouting
fears out of hiding.

Cold rain,
cold rain,
will you pour?
Open your door.
Draw us closer;
I want to hold her,
cold rain,
cold rain.

The kids run and play
bathed in the warm rain
of summer.
Remember?
Inside, we are bathed,
drenched, in words of hate.

But, when cold kisses
from the sky lends us;
"Run inside!
Shelter!" Cries.
Forget abysses
and that one mistress;
I miss my Mrs.

Shivering, quiv'ring
we know we need
each other's heat
when it's cold raining
when it's cold raining.

Shivering, quiv'ring
we know we need
each other's heat
when it's cold raining
when it's cold raining.

Eyes batting the rain
pale, skin of blood drain
lips, cheeks blue
I pull you.
Your lips, love unfeigned;
our breath our soul remains
admist all the pain.
Baptized bodies in cold rain
we came, still, WE CAME!

Cold rain,
cold rain,
will you pour?
Open your door.
Draw us closer;
I want to hold her,
cold rain,
cold rain.

Grabbing Water

2006-03-23T20:25:00.000-05:00

Just sitting by my window
gazing upward longingly,
peering through my telescope.
So many stars, vast as the sea,
yet my eye fixes on you.
Holding tight, a bum his one bill,
from you my eyes cannot move.
Reaching out, I hold you at will,
you appear to be in my hand,
but you are many miles from land.

Frustration my mind's close ally;
my heart beats the air that you breathe.
My fumbling life can't catch your eye
like winter keeping summer's heat.
J, what do you say, maybe today?
Can we draw near from this distance?
Your heart bleeds yes, but you run away;
please, acknowledge my existence.
So many emotions melting
from the lack of cards you dealt me.

So I sought her
like grabbing water,
coolness in my hands
I open them and glance.
Nothing there, in and out
empty here, but all about;
so I sought her
like grabbing water.

For air a dying man gasping
life out of sight right behind him.
"Life, where's she hiding?" He asked me.
I tried to answer that question.
On the way home from the hospital
attempting answers in night's solace;
I moved forward just a little:
"I give you my heart, you know this;
you still drop it, shattering it-
just bloody fingers, it can't be fixed."

Outside I saw you move the leaves.
For once, I thought, I could catch you
"Shhhhh!" on my tippy-toes I creeped,
but when I stepped, you did not move.
Then, from behind you threw trash;
it somersaulted in the sky.
Your breath on my neck, I turned and grasped.
"I caught you!". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I believed my lie.
On the furthest hill I could see,
you were dancing just to tease me.

So I sought her
like grabbing water,
coolness in my hands
I open them and glance.
Nothing there, in and out
empty here, but all about;
so I sought her
like grabbing water.

Looking in the mirror, I mused,
"Why must my emotions oscillate?
Abused, used, chewed, who's amused?!"
Then, from a distant land a thought came,
A one-man calvary of clarity:
What was it like in God's pursuit
of a sinner so vile as me?
Why choose me a treasured loot?
I ran from him with all my might
I bet that it was a lot like:

So I sought her
like grabbing water,
coolness in my hands
I open them and glance.
Nothing there, in and out
empty here, but all about;
so I sought her
like grabbing water.

He sought me at calvary
from eternity;
He bought me and set me free
from sin's slavery.
Capable of the incapable,
He was more than able
to make me inculpable.
Grabbing water, He held it.
Grabbing water, He held it.
Grabbing water, He held it.
Grabbing His daughter, He held me.

Your Mind's Chatter

2006-03-20T00:23:00.000-05:00

Across the room
all I see is you
so graceful, butter-
fly, you flutter
my eyes anticipating,
but you keep them waiting.

So cold you look without glancing;
cold to the moments of our dancing;
the one warm spot you will allot
is the moment I wish was not.

Can I hear your mind's mouth?
Not the one on your face's south.
I want to hear the one inside;
the one that you hide
when it's just you and your dreams,
when the world is bursting at the seams,
and all seems to be fleeting;
what is your mind screaming?

Why do you hold these things?
The pain, your fingers knead me.
A Nigerian night, you can't see I need you,
deep in my heart cross your roots,
but that night's rushing wind
sent my tree away; leaving you barren.
I remain a weeping willow
with a tear soaked pillow.

I hear the silent screams
my shadow blocks your beams
a past black of hurting
for you passion is not burning.

You're mind's chatter,
I'd climb a ladder to hear that blabber.
You say it says nothing...
nothing
nothing
that is impossible
there must be some sort of squabble
captured in captivating cadence
a heartbeat, thadunk, thadunk
hope must not be debunked.

I once heard your mind's chatter
it left my world shattered.
You spoke the truth:
concerning me, you were mute
I hear the mute; I see nothing's black
I try to return to before and back
I can't turn time's hands,
or add to it's missing sand.
I fight to forget that night
when your mind's chatter came to light.

When Time Stops

2006-03-10T22:13:00.000-05:00

A heart so bare
can it bear?
A fall so far
time must stop.

Why? Why?
Walking on rocks
pushed to my knees
please
please
Is the blood not enough?

You shrug

A heart so bare
can it bear?
A fall so far
time must stop.

An orchestra
grating my ears
the strings
their chords
a noose, of you,
around my neck.

Crazy chaufers me
to your door
drowning
my nose pores
I'm just acquainted

With the rain.

With the rain
drown the pain
instead
I tread with hope,
hope with cobwebs...

Forget it; just go to bed.

A heart so bare
can it bear?
A fall so far
time must stop.

Political Quiz

2006-03-04T10:04:00.000-05:00

Thanks Gman for the quiz. Should post something new in a couple of days, as I just finished working 128 hours in 8 days...as Quagmire says, "AAAWWWWrrriiiiiiiggghhhhtttttt!"

You are a
Social Conservative
(33% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(20% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Totalitarian

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

A Murderer, But Worse, Denied Forgiveness

2006-02-24T22:19:00.000-05:00

I am working open to close (6am-10 pm) for work in Dayton until next Sat, so I will not be able to post anything until 2 weeks from now. I look forward to writing again, but for G-man, here's a certain song. Much love guys.

A Murder, But Worse, Denied Forgiveness

The streets were quiet and empty
hidden in night’s absence of light
I prepared mentally for the fight
The demons came from within me.

All I needed was you,
someone to talk to,
just one friend to confide in,
but denied
I resigned
to my solitaire confinement.

Through the window, I snuck right in
looked around the temple you built
All so still, before you were killt.
Up the stairs, I began to ascend

There you slept alone peacefully
I peered through the crack, you-watching
eternity went on marching
forever went by speedily.

All I needed was you,
someone to talk to,
just one friend to confide in,
but denied
I resigned
to my solitaire confinement.

I swiftly moved into your room
towards your back I grabbed my knife
across your neck, out went your life.
your temple came crashing on you.

Wasn’t long thereafter they came.
After three full days, I got caught
my place was surrounded by cops.
I was the only one left to blame.

Cold as ice I stared at the judge
Charges were assailed against me
The jury’s verdict came guilty
Death was the sentence for their grudge.

All I needed was you,
someone to talk to,
just one friend to confide in,
but denied
I resigned
to my solitaire confinement.

Alone I waited for that day
So far away; here tomorrow.
Jesus found, now full of sorrow.
My last request was some words to say.

From all over came the news
I publicly confessed, "I’m sorry
Jesus has changed me; He sought me."
"False religion," said the reviews.

No one believed; no one forgave
"Execute him" they all exclaimed
He falsely calls on Jesus name,
yet he killed her with no shame!
The day for my sin to be paid
is here; any last words to say?
"Yes sir," here is what I proclaimed:

All I needed was you, someone to talk to, just one friend to confide in, but denied I resigned to my solitaire confinement? I lived life alone, cold a heart of stone, I killed her intently no remorse swept over me. Now, however, I have met the King, Jesus, is who my soul now sings. To the family I’m sorry; I ask for your forgiveness; see my genuine repentance. All I needed was You, someone to talk to, a friend to confide in, a savior who forgives my sin, now I accept my death to be with You.

There I fried;
that day I died.
no "brother" by my side
they all cast a judgmental eye.
Love that is Christian
must forgive,
no matter the sin.

Vultures, They're A-Flyin'

2006-02-21T00:15:00.000-05:00

"Can I have your number?" rang in her ears. Craved, like a drug you can’t shrug, she was sought everyday. Reaffirmed by mirrors; yearned, even beauty had to learn her ways. Doors closed and all the no’s, to many caused expensive dreams to drop to pitied pennies. But her, with the right shirt, and certain parts shown, opened possibilities unknown.

Vultures, they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

Laughs so loud, how could he be proud? His face, pimples took the skin’s place. Here comes a crowd, oh, just to be in a shroud! "I don’t want to be chased, please?!" He prays. HA HA HA from down the hall, pushed to the wall left to crawl. Walking away, they called back, "Ugly duckling, you’re a fag!"

Vultures, they’re a-flyin'
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

"I’ll take that, the Ferrari to go with the Harley," he told Marty. "Here’s the cash;" only a pinch to the stash. In Djibouti, enjoying the surfari, choosing not to see the poverty, he buys millions worth in property. Everything a price tag, he wants it; he just grabs. The selfish sparkle in his eye only looks for his next big buy. With enough cash for four generations, he thinks his vast empire will last.

Vultures, they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

On this boulevard, life so hard sittin against a store, wonderin’ what he was here for. God is a lie, if alive, then why?! Shivering in this snow glistening but no one is listening. "Hey Bum, quit loitering!" the cop screamed coming down the street. So up to his feet again, left to wanderin’ to find somewhere to turn in. Another day, another night, hope resigned and out of sight. "Bum, it’s your fault," they scald, "go get a job."

Vultures, they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

"A cheetah couldn’t beat ya," her coach would say. Scouts from all about packed the track. The newspapers would invade her, her privacy not catered . Always training to stay at her peak, she was the epitome of healthy that many sought to be. Records broken, trophies that were only golden, she only knew success in excess. No doctor’s visits since she was six. No handicaps, her body always did what it was asked.

Vultures they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

"Beep. . . Beep" sounded the machine as she laid under the sheets. Weakening over the years, with many shed tears, her fears moving ever so near. A chance to walk, that was a prize she sought. Cancer all over, she was disease’s four-leaf clover, as rare to all became common call from doctors that watched her. Just a chance to be a kid; to run, spit, and kick without a care in the world, she would dream while on that bed curled.

Vultures they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above their prey
soon to be a-dyin’
death is comin’ today.

Jesus was the only thing that pleased’him. His whole life he strived to be Christ’s set apart wife. He didn’t follow religion’s hollow standards, but passion’s intensity is where he wanted to be. Intimacy that was shivering; that was how he knew he was living! Embraced by grace, he felt the whisper of his Love from above on his face all his days. Closing his eyes, he breathes deep while seeing eternity; his being is raptured into a bliss he hopes never to miss; captured by Christ’s kiss.

Angels, they’re a-flyin’
circlin’ above the saved
soon be a dyin’
death is comin’ today.

Music Heard But Never Played

2006-02-17T01:34:00.000-05:00

I hear the music play
traveling in my ears;
takes a detour to the heart
my soul rains out in tears.

I could listen all day
we could cuddle all night;
let's never grow apart
holding with all our might.

Music, I hear you;
Music, I read you;
I even feel you.
What good does that do
if I don't play you?

So many emotions
taking me everywhere;
worlds unbelieveable,
I can only just stare.

Colors like the ocean
so deep I have to dive;
everything feasible
passions stir me alive.

Colors, I see you;
Colors, I read you;
I even feel you.
What good does that do
if I don't paint you?

So warm in this blanket
my soul so wrapped in you;
the heat like a fire
pushes me right on through.

Cherished like a locket;
a spring so refreshing,
that when times get dire
you come and revive me.

Kind Words, I hear you;
Kind Words, I read you;
I even feel you.
What good does that do
if I don't speak you?

What's to come? I don't know.
I live in such a routine:
Each step calculated;
Each day the same song I sing.

No new prints in the snow,
everything to the plan.
Risk eliminated,
a sprint I never ran.

Life, I see you;
Life, I breathe you;
I even feel you.
What good does that do
if I don't live you?

I've heard you're amazing;
your kiss so orgasmic;
your embrace so secure;
that words can't describe it.

I see you there standing.
They are right; I believe,
even my sins you can cure.
For now, though, I'll just see.

Jesus, I see you;
Jesus, I feel you;
I even need you.
What good does that do
if I don't kiss you?

Baba Baba Black Sheep

2006-02-14T17:23:00.000-05:00

Baba Baba Black Sheep,
have you any cotton?
Masa, here it is, see?
Here's the bags you sought an'
one for you, one the ma'am.
Sorry, sir, I'm so weak;
just wish I were a man.
Baba Baba Black Sheep.

Baba Baba Black Sheep,
have you any cotton?
Masa, here it is, see?
Here's the bags you sought an'
one for you, one the ma'am.
Sorry, sir, I'm so weak;
just wish I were a man.
Baba Baba Black Sheep.

I was just walking down the street
through the eye of The Hurricane
Bang! Bang! Shots raped the serene air.
"Him! Him!" They all pointed at me
a white man on the ground in pain.
Truth? Fair? I'm black; they did not care.
"He shot him!" the lies all began;
the cops looked at me a doomed man.

I looked at organized chaos
as I entered in the airport.
I handed the girl my tickets;
from behind, "Go back to your Mosques!
Ma'am, is it safe to let him board?"
Laughing with his friends, "I hate sand nigs!"
Each person thought, "A terrorist?"
Just because I am Arabic.

Baba Baba Black Sheep,
have you any cotton?
Masa, here it is, see?
Here's the bags you sought an'
one for you, one the ma'am.
Sorry, sir, I'm so weak;
just wish I were a man.
Baba Baba Black Sheep

"I take five dese ones, dank you, pwease?"
He said, "That will be Five fifty."
"Five fifty?! Sign say three nine nine!"
"It just went up, Ms. Japanese
or Chinese, no matter ta-me.
You pay my fee, or leave my line!"
I somberly replied, "I'm Thai."
Then, grabbed my pride, and ran to cry.

Sitting and sweating in the heat
hoping to earn money today.
A truck stopped to offer a job
"Go to the back; not my clean seat!"
Eight hours of work, now the pay:
"Here's fifteen dollars; thanks a lot."
I said, "It should be fifty, atleast."
He said, "Spick, leave, or it's the police."

Baba Baba Black Sheep,
have you any cotton?
Masa, here it is, see?
Here's the bags you sought an'
one for you, one the ma'am.
Sorry, sir, I'm so weak;
just wish I were a man.
Baba Baba Black Sheep

Hated because he is unique;
we have to save conformity.
The black sheep is inferior;
the white sheep is superior
because of one thing different
and it's the shade of melanin

BRIDGE:
Black sheep,
White sheep,
Red Sheep,
Still Sheep!
Racism, when will it ever end?
When will we all understand,
we are different,
but still each human.
Racism: Will it ever end?

All of You

2006-02-14T13:46:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day 2006!!!

Tonight
you and me
alright?
Let's just be.

I saw you standing there;
your eyes whispered your soul.
I could not help but stare
at your bottomless hole.

The strand across your face,
independent of all,
so telling of your days
so tough you cannot fall

In your head the thoughts swim:
Love is just for the weak;
this project I'll begin;
they can't see that I need!

Tonight
you and me
alright?
Let's just be.

You cannot hide those eyes,
or quiet your heart's screams;
your mind so full of lies,
a virus eating dreams.

Here's my arms; here's my ears
I love you, I love you.
Give me your fears, my dear;
to ALL of you, "I do."

Tonight
you and me
alright?
Let's just be.

Great God, Sorry I am Naught

2006-02-13T08:26:00.000-05:00

Have you noticed that when you want to get somewhere so badly, you always end up going farther to get there? It reminds me of a slingshot, you have to go back really far to get to that point that you want so badly. It is frustrating, beyond frustrating, but it is the circumcision of the flesh that gets us into holy communion with our great God. I can only imagine the excruciating pain of Abraham's circumcision.

Great God one and three
May I dive in thee,
In these tears drowning
for the righteous crowning

Great God lion and lamb
Only through you I stand
Your death, salvation bought
Your resurrection, it caught

Great God, Oh Holy One,
what joy when this is done,
purifying pilgrimage
among the sacrilege

Right now there is distance
but soon your lap I'm sittin'